Thoughts of an unemployed college grad who is forced to move home
- •Wow, real food is amazing.Ramen and frozen chicken are not the only food groups when your parents are paying for your meals again.
- •People don't go out every night of the week?I thought Wednesday was a completely acceptable day to go out...
- •Yes, mom. I will put my dishes away.Three minutes later she puts it away and tells me real adults don't have dirty dishes lying everywhere. 😒
- •No, mom. I'm not sick. Watching 15 episodes of Friends is completely normal nowadays.Get with the times.
- •I should try and lose the 20 lbs I gained over the past four years.Sure, I had a multi-million dollar rec center available to me all this time, but now that I have no gym membership and no work out partner now is the time to get my shit together.
- •Now is a great time to catch up on my reading list!Or I could watch a few more episodes of How To Get Away With Murder.
- •Oh I'm supposed to be job hunting? No way, Dad. Thanks for the advice.What happened to we'd love to have you home? Take your time? You deserve a break? It's been a week. Sorry I don't run a fortune 500 company yet.
- •But on the real, my resume rocks. Why won't anyone pay me to be awesome?I'm highly qualified at being the shit.
- •Why the hell did I ever want to grow up?I should have taken a victory lap. Or two.