THE MOST EMBARRASSING PICTURES OF ME ON MY PHONE
This list would probably be longer and more interesting if it was "The Most Embarrassing Pictures Of Me On Other People's Phones"
- •"My friends are the worst" me
- •"Valentine's Day" meI went to a bar last Valentine's Day with my friend Lauren. If I have one piece of advice, it's AVOID BARS ON VALENTINE'S DAY. It's a sad, seedy scene, my friends. This is me going home (alone) in a cab, posing with a rose I found on the sidewalk. I like to think some girl threw it on the ground in a fit of rage after her boyfriend did something particularly heinous while intoxicated. He tried. I gained a wall decoration.
- •"BFFs" meI think I did a Snapchat story with the posters on my wall once, which is why I have so many pictures of me with inspirational comedy women. I probably shouldn't force the whole "BFF" thing, but a Snapchat text overlay never hurt anyone.
- •"Sad, pre-pubescent" meThis is a picture of my Grandma and I being detained at the Canadian border because I forgot my birth certificate. You know what's fun? Waiting hours in a holding room, only to have your mother fax over your class photo, report card and, for some reason, an acrostic poem you wrote in the third grade. Just the birth certificate would have sufficed, Mom.
- •"Night before graduation" meYes, I am secretly 12 years old. No, I did not go to NYU. Yes, my roommate @masette braided my hair so I would have dope waves for graduation. No, the whole waves thing didn't really work out. Yes, I'm sad about it.
- •"College" meThis photo sums up my college experience pretty damn well. Pizza, cheap wine and a pile of trash. Photo cred: @abrunsy