I DECIDED TO GO TO TARGET

  1. I was on my last roll of toilet paper.
  2. I figured Monday afternoon would be less crazy than going on the weekend.
  3. I forgot that all the kids in Los Angeles were out of school...
  4. ...and any aisle that wasn't covered in stir crazy kids had befuddled middle-aged men wandering around, looking for presents for their wives.
  5. $100 poorer, I lived to tell the tale. Barely.