THE MOST TERRIBLE NICOLAS CAGE MOVIES

My rule is that the movie had to appear (however briefly) in U.S. Movie theaters.
  1. The Wicker Man
    This is a semi-feminist remake of a 70s movie of the same name. It's about this cult of women who go out and seduce men, have their babies in secret and then show up years later to trick them into being a human sacrifice. In the original, Christopher Lee (Saruman in Lord of the Rings, for you kids) was the cult leader.
  2. Knowing
    Nicolas Cage finds a piece of paper that has the dates of disasters on it and the next disaster date is next week. The ending is totally bonkers and I'm about to spoil it for you so stop reading - the world is destroyed and aliens rescue some kids and dump them on a new planet. Good luck, kids!
  3. Drive Angry
    He shoots a bunch of dudes while having sex with some random lady. Also, he's come back from the dead to save his now-grown daughter from a demon, but it's the first thing that stuck with me, along with his blonde mullet wig.
  4. Next
    Nicolas Cage can see the future, but only the next 2 minutes. Julianne Moore (How is she in this dumb movie?) is an FBI agent who wants him to use his not-so-super power to stop some terrorists from detonating a nuke. Jessica Biel is also involved.
  5. Season of the Witch
    Nicolas Cage, witch hunter.
  6. Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengence
    Nicolas Cage made a deal with the Devil in the first movie to become the Ghost Rider, a flaming skeleton who hates sinners. Now he's trying to stop the Devil from possessing a kid. Idris Elba is in this movie. I hope they paid him a truckload of money to assuage his dignity.
  7. Bangkok dangerous
    So bad.
    Suggested by   @shanaz