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By mature, I mean, a grandma 👵🏼
I'm a simple soul.
- 1.Andy riding a tricycle at the Priority Bike party
- 2.A guy at the HIKENIKENYC party looking über cool and then getting a whole bottle of beer spilled all over himSucked. Sorry to have witnessed it. Sad for the beer.
- 3.Seeing da homies (missed you @annamal)
- 4.Nonya for dinner
- •Bird poop hitting your shoulder instead of your head
- •Flash mobs like 500 days of summer, every time I'm in a good mood
- •A zoo that only has pugs and penguins
- •fartingUnless you're my grandma - I think she can't control her sphincter
- •burpingIt's possible to do it silently right? Like easier than forcing yourself to fart silently
- •clipping your nailsso dudes actually carry nail clippers in their pockets...
- •letting your kid pee or pooI can't justify this unless you're a wilderness explorer in the forest
- •Living on a prayerEveryone is drunk and sings along. Nobody thinks they'll make it, maybe.
- •End of the Road
Do you even lift, bro?
- •1RM - one rep maxI dunno what mine is but there are chicks who can deadlift triple their body weight. WTF! This girl is 100lbs https://instagram.com/p/9X2at4hXg1/
- •You have to wear a squat suit during competitionIt's not sexy on anybody (ok maybe if you're The Game 🙊)
- •Form is crucialNobody gives a damn if you're pulling hella weight of your form is terrible. You're gonna get injured, homie.
Inspired by @AbbiJacobson
- •Sales Associate, Lingerie Dept, JCPenney, Southland MallA ghetto mall, a ghetto dept store and then boobs, lots of different sizes and colors. People saw my name tag and assumed I could speak Spanish. No habla español. Sorry.
- •Lemonade stomper, Hot Dog On A Stick, Southland MallSame ghetto mall also had a ghetto food court. It was us vs. Panda Express and Sbarro. We wore these awesome uniforms and I had to straddle the bucket and stomp lemonade for months until I was allowed to cook any corndogs. After making a new batch of batter you had to yell "batter up!" across the food court and pour the new batch into the bowl from as high up as possible. I never yelled loud enough.
- •Dish room staff, University of California San Diego cafeteriaSlippery floors, crates of ceramic plates, dish washing machine, bleaching and mopping floors. People slipped often, good thing they had workers comp. The senior manager kept trying to date all the freshmen girls, gross.
Everyone asks me. The list could go on forever. I'll continue adding to it.
- •Australia dairy companyScrambled eggs
- •Yardbird / Ronin / Sunday's GrocerySame owners, all amazing food
- •Little BaoAsian fusion. Matcha green tea ice cream sandwiches (the bread is deep fried Bao, FML).
for when you visit HK, you'll probably just be eating and shopping and being angry, so here ya go.
- •Dong Lai cha - cold milk teaQuintessential HK drink.
- •Leng Lui/leng Jai - pretty woman/handsome manUsed to holla. My dad also uses this on waitstaff or people at the wet market (regardless of their age) to flatter them and get better service. You might also get called this by vendors at the wet market, feel flattered, and then watch them call an 80 year old lady the same thing.
- •Dee-ew lei - F youOr just: Dee-ew - dammit, F, bugger. This might be used often because of cultural differences. People generally DGAF and have no manners or common courtesy. They're not being rude, it's just a cultural difference.