Jobs I've Had

Inspired by @AbbiJacobson
  1. Sales Associate, Lingerie Dept, JCPenney, Southland Mall
    A ghetto mall, a ghetto dept store and then boobs, lots of different sizes and colors. People saw my name tag and assumed I could speak Spanish. No habla español. Sorry.
  2. Lemonade stomper, Hot Dog On A Stick, Southland Mall
    Same ghetto mall also had a ghetto food court. It was us vs. Panda Express and Sbarro. We wore these awesome uniforms and I had to straddle the bucket and stomp lemonade for months until I was allowed to cook any corndogs. After making a new batch of batter you had to yell "batter up!" across the food court and pour the new batch into the bowl from as high up as possible. I never yelled loud enough.
  3. Dish room staff, University of California San Diego cafeteria
    Slippery floors, crates of ceramic plates, dish washing machine, bleaching and mopping floors. People slipped often, good thing they had workers comp. The senior manager kept trying to date all the freshmen girls, gross.
  4. Assistant production coordinator, HEROES, Season 3
    This lasted a year and was actually super fun because the crew and production team were such hilarious people. We threw the Christmas tree out the second story balcony and played with the ridiculous props (suicide bomber vest pictured) and snuck around sets.
  5. Server, Far Bar, Little Tokyo, Los Angeles
    Uggghhhh. Ok, I didn't visit an ATM the entire time I worked there 📈💰💵 but mad respect for servers cuz you gotta WORK IT to get it. Ya knowhaaddaameeeean. I just couldn't. And my memory sucks so sorry to all the people whose orders and chopsticks and condiments I forgot. This job lasted 3 months - till I couldn't deal with closing at 2am and then having an 8am call on set the next day 🔫 also people ordering a bowl of rice each and one skewer each and then asking for separate checks.