Language and cognition are in a constant dance. Learning to use (or not use) the right words can make a huge difference in how your message is received by others. The word, "but" for example, has a way of deleting whatever message immediately preceded it. Here are a few examples:
  1. "I really love you, but..."
  2. "Don't take this the wrong way, but..."
  3. "I'm sorry, but..."
  4. "Not to criticize, but..."
  5. Or my favorite—- "I'm not a racist, but..."