THINGS THAT TAKE PRIORITY OVER EXERCISE

  1. Buying and drinking chocolate milk. Science shows it's great for post-exercise, but drinking it in place of exercise is my jam.
  2. Walking the dog for a block and having another glass of chocolate milk.
  3. Rewatching for the 50th time season 4 of 30 Rock. And then all of 30 Rock, Parks and Rec, and Gilmore Girls, because what if there is a line of dialogue I've forgotten to memorize?
  4. Naps.
  5. Silently mocking over-stylized sepia wedding pictures of friends-of-friends-of-friends on Facebook.
  6. Trying to get to the elusive, perfect 100% in an Amazon Prime Pantry box.
  7. Searching online for the perfect wall calendar so I can track future exercise with The Seinfeld Method.
  8. Washing the baseboards in the guest room.
  9. Wondering where I can get really good hanger steak with chimichurri ostensibly because I won't feel like cooking after going for a run.
  10. Organizing all the storage bins in my linen closet to make sure nothing has gone past its expiration date.
  11. Oh shit. THREE THINGS HAVE EXPIRED. I must go to Rite Aid immediately.
  12. Also Target.