The Other "C" Word

Turning 50 meant my personal list of "exams you must start having at a certain age" got longer by one. Here's my take on what you will and will not experience when you cross over the half century mark and get the dreaded "Colonoscopy." (Queue the evil laughter.😱)
  1. You will hear horror stories. 👻
  2. You will also hear reassuring stories. 🙏🏻
  3. You will suddenly crave every food you ever loved in your life - and some you didn't even know you liked - once you start your 24 hour prep. 🤐
  4. You will never look at Gatorade the same way again. 😧
  5. You will get pretty much zero sleep the night before the procedure. 🚫
  6. You will hear the nurse telling you they're starting sedation one second and then wake up in the recovery room what seems like another second later. ♿️
  7. You will say things you don't remember coming out of anesthesia. 🤔
  8. You will eat twice as much as you normally would for your first meal post-procedure. 🍴
  9. You will immediately crawl into bed after that huge meal to try to catch up on the sleep you lost the night before. 🛌
  10. You will have that nap disrupted once again by the "cleansing" the day before. 🚽
  11. You will lose weight. ⚖
  12. You will realize that all the "hype"'and negative vibes surrounding it are just bad press - it's a breeze! 🌬