The beauty of forgiveness...
Forgiveness can be extremely difficult and even seem impossible at times, trust me, I know. But if you want your mind to be healthy you have to let go of the grudges and stop worrying about payback. Then, your mind will find peace.
- •Let yourself be angry.The first thing that needs to be acknowledged is that you are angry. You don't need to hold that in...it's not healthy and can cause denial. To forgive, you must address the problem, and to do that you need to allow yourself to be mad. Scream, cry, write in your journal...just let it happen.
- •Understand that you don't need an apology.Like becomes a lot easier when you learn to accept an apology you never got.
- •It's not an obligation.You are not forgiving for them, you are forgiving for yourself. Letting go of anger can change your whole life and you will be stronger because of it.
- •Change your story.When something bad happens to you, telling your story to people is good. And telling exactly what happened to your close friends is even better. However, as time goes on, you should end your story with something like "and because of this I have learned so much about myself and I am a better me." You don't want to tell your story just to get other people to hate that person too. This one is still taking me some time.
- •Empathy.As hard as it might be, putting yourself in their shoes and trying to understand their perspective is a huge part of forgiveness. Humanizing them can help let go of some bitterness.
- •It doesn't have to be a quick process.It can take a week, a month, or even years to get through these steps. And that's okay. It will happen when you're ready for it to happen. And forgiving someone doesn't mean they have to be back in your life. You can forgive and move on without them. <----- so important.