Things I Do When Im Hungover

  1. Eat ice cubes
    Which is counter productive and only serves to further dehydrate and cripple me, elongating said hangover.
  2. Move from comfortable surface to other comfortable surface
    To the bed, to the couch, to the chair, to the bed, to the floor, to the bed, to the couch.
  3. Eat
  4. Feel nauseous
  5. Become repulsed by the thought of food
  6. Eat bread
  7. Take a Tylenol
  8. Take two more Tylenol
  9. Wonder why the Tylenol isn't working
  10. Wonder if Tylenol actually works, or if I just forget it long enough for hangover to go away, and then praise Tylenol for NOTHING
  11. Wonder why I habitually put myself through this pain and suffering
  12. Abhor white wine
  13. Abhor fire engines
  14. Abhor being over 25
  15. Abhor my body for punishing me for my years of drinking all night and wake up at 2pm fresh as a daisy
  16. Hate the word "abhor"
  17. Vow that this time was the last time
  18. Accept there will never be a next time
  19. Retreat to bed to snuggle my pillows and blankets and binge watch Sex and the City until man brings home takeout Red Curry with chicken, sticky rice and NO MUSHROOMS MRS YING, for dinner.