Inspired by @LevNovak, I've decided to list out a story of my own. This actually happened the summer after high school graduation, but that title is not as punchy.
  1. To set the scene, four of us girls are figuring out what to do one summer night.
    It's important to note that we had only recently become close friends. We all had different groups of friends outside of this circle, so quadruple the parties yo! We usually just hung out and played Apples to Apples.
  2. My friend Laura receives a text inviting us to an older cool guy's house where all his older cool guy friends were hanging out.
    She dated one of them way back when she was a freshman and he was a senior football player. Now these guys were (possibly) in college. This is very exciting for me.
  3. Who exactly were these guys?
    Basically, they were the guys on the wrong side of the track, or as wrong of a side of tracks in Highland Park, IL could be. They were attractive and kind of sketchy at the same time. My Jewish mother would have had a heart attack if she knew my plans on that night.
  4. I'm extremely nervous as we arrive at the house.
    I take a deep breath as Marek (guy who's house it is) opens the door. I truly don't remember if his name is actually Marek, but it was definitely something close to that. Laura goes first, the rest of us trailing behind.
  5. All of the guys are sitting at the dining room table smoking hookah when I notice...
    My old hallway crush Mike is sitting there with an open chair next to him! Fate is clearly on my side tonight as I sidle right next to him and introduce myself.
  6. What the hell is a hallway crush?
    For those of you who don't know, it's literally that guy or girl who you see in the school hallway enough to develop a creepy crush on, even though they have no idea you exist. Sigh.
  7. Things could not be going better.
    Somehow, the awkwardness that I'm usually cursed with when talking to hot guys vanishes, and we are having a fantastic conversation. I'm close to calling this the best night of my life.
  8. Mike passes the hookah hose to me.
    I'm feeling really great at this point. I stop chatting with Mike to smoke the hookah. As I take a puff, I'm feeling really cool and decide to lean back in my chair. Unfortunately the hose is too short for that.
  9. The entire hookah falls over, and the coal starts burning through the beautiful white tablecloth.
    In all fairness to me, who the hell puts a nice tablecloth under a hookah? Still, the tablecloth has a huge, charred hole, and Marek is yelling at me.
  10. The tablecloth turns out to be an heirloom from Marek's grandmother.
    I repeat, who the hell puts their GRANDMOTHER'S tablecloth under a hookah?
  11. Marek kicks us out of the house.
    Mike is clearly embarrassed he was giving me the time of day. I'm a pariah. Now we're just those loser younger girls that just showed up to the older cool guys' party.
  12. Laura tells me later that Marek is demanding I pay $150 for the tablecloth.
    In hindsight, I don't think family heirlooms have a price, so I'm not sure where he got that figure. At the time, though, I was too mortified to question it. I pooled all of my summer work money together to give to Laura to give to Marek's friend to give to Marek. He wouldn't speak to either of us.
  13. I never talked to Mike again.
    You win some, you lose some, I guess.
  14. The End
    The moral of this story is to always stay home and play Apples to Apples. That game is really fun, if you've never played it (loser).