REASONS WHY I LIKED FIFTY SHADES OF GREY (THE MOVIE)

I never read the book and I don't plan to
  1. Jamie Dornan running
  2. It reminds me of The Bachelor. In fact it's practically the same thing.
  3. Jamie Dornan eating that toast - sexiest part of the movie
  4. Danny Elfman's bouncy score
  5. Dakota Johnson and her masterful lip-biting
  6. Anastasia wasn't nearly as horrible as an example for women as I thought she'd be.
  7. I actually kind of liked Anastasia.
  8. Jamie Dornan's abs
  9. Christian picking Anastasia up at the piano and carrying her back to bed. *fans herself*
  10. The weird slo-mo brush with a feather and then with a whip scene was like a cheap music video and hilarious.
  11. Jamie Dornan creepily popping up at random locations where Anastasia is. I wish he did that to me.
  12. Jokes like the playroom being for an Xbox. Oh Anastasia, your innocence slays me.
  13. The fact that a sequel is in the works. Maybe with a few more Jamie Dornan peen peaks?