SOME WTF MOVIES/TV/BOOKS I WATCHED/READ OVER THE PAST WEEK

WTF does not mean I didn't enjoy it.
  1. Eyes Wide Shut
    Gist: Tom Cruise tries and fails to get laid. Nicole Kidman talks really fucking slowly. There's a weird sex party where everyone wears masks and has sex with each other creepily. Classic Kubrick style.
  2. Mulholland Drive
    Gist: Naomi Watts is a naive small town actress wannabe arriving in LA. Tries to solve Laura Harring's identity crisis. Shit gets CRAZY and everything you thought you knew may not be what you know and reality is a dream and dreams are reality! WHAT IS GOING ON LYNCH??
  3. Lolita (book)
    Gist: Weirdo middle-aged Humbert Humbert is in love with and has sexual relations with his 12-year-old stepdaughter Dolores "Lolita" Haze. Is devastated when she **SPOILER ALERT** has been in love with another pedophile the whole time! Who then takes her away! The reader feels sorry for Humbert until she realizes that everyone in this book is a monster.
  4. Last night's The Bachelorette
    The rose ceremony was in the middle of the episode. Everything is dramatic. There are only tears and no smiles. I want my normal routine escapist show where I can make fun of everyone. Now I just feel bad for everyone.