THINGS I'VE MISTAKENLY SAID WHILE SUBSTITUTE TEACHING
I already respected teachers, and now I revere them.
- •"Miralax doesn't work."In all fairness to me, a student said something about Miralax first.
- •"Damn it!"I was chided by the students for swearing in school.
- •"Less poop talk, more reading."This was shortly after the Miralax comment. They laughed loudly and started jumping around instead of quieting down.
- •"Oh God"This is a Jewish school where you don't use God's name in vain.
- •I pronounced one kid's name wrong over and over again.The way they react it's like I'm insulting their mother.
- •"I won't tell if you don't."One kid dropped something in the jellyfish tank by accident, so I had to use two sticks as makeshift tongs to get it out. I think the jellyfish might have died. Yes, there was a jellyfish tank.
- •"Don't ask me. I hate math."No, I don't remember 8th grade math. If you tell them this though, suddenly they no longer have an obligation to do work.
- •"I know all of your names and will tell your teacher who was good and bad."Lies. All lies. You all look the same.