It's first date 101 to always have an escape plan.
  1. Have your friend call with an emergency
    Classic but pretty transparent.
  2. Tell the person you're gay/straight and you thought that (s)he was the opposite gender
    I've for sure met some girls named Jonathan... Haven't you?
  3. Pee your pants
    This trick works every time.
  4. Scream obscenities whenever you're asked a question
    Another great way to cut the dinner short.
  5. Say you have an early flight the next day
  6. If you're on a date with Joey Tribbiani, reach over and eat his food
    Joey doesn't share food!
  7. Produce loud and/or smelly farts
    It takes a special kind of person to do this on command, so maybe you're actually a keeper.
  8. Say you have to get up early in the morning.
    This only works for evening dates. But it's a pretty easy out. Pro tip: don't elaborate. The more you tell stories like "it's for this meeting with a client I hate!" Or "I've got an ogre of a boss!" the more it sounds like a lie. Just sigh and say "well thanks, but I gotta get up early tomorrow..." Then exit gracefully.
    Suggested by @eatthelove