FAVORITE COSTUMES I HAVE WORN

  1. Olsen Twin Racoon
    Like a regular raccoon but with a very large cup of coffee and a cashmere wrap.
  2. Green Eggs and Jon Hamm
    Hardest part: finding a date who looked like Jon Hamm.
  3. NYC Bodega
    Get your Utz.
  4. Midlife crisis
    Muumuu and cats and all the wine with ice I want.
  5. Taqueria girl
    Imagine a cigarette girl but with a choice of black or pinto beans.
  6. UFO flight attendant
    Peanuts? Anal probe?