A Tally of My Internet Achievements, Interspersed With Real-life Achievements

  1. Number of ListApp Followers: 114
    And I love every one of you.
  2. Number of Spouses: 1
    Fairly standard.
  3. Number of Facebook Friends: 612
    Send me a request if you're interested. I'll accept it.
  4. Number of Children: 2
    Not an achievement, really. More of an ongoing project.
  5. Reddit Karma Accumulated: 147,612 comment karma, 25,047 link karma.
    No, I won't tell you my username.
  6. Number of Pets Owned During Lifetime: 2 dogs, multiple fish.
    None at present, though. Thinking about it. Kids say they want a dog, but I think they like dogs in photographs and videos more than they like actual dogs.
  7. Number of Twitter Followers: 1,866
    I'm okay at Twitter, but I'm pretty sporadic. And I like ListApp better.
  8. Number of Years Lived: 44
    And eleven-twelfths.
  9. Number of Instagram followers: 48
    I've only ever made two posts, though.
  10. Number of Post-Graduate Degrees Earned: 1
    It was an M.F.A.
  11. Number of Tumblr Followers: 3
    I don't go there very much.
  12. Number of Books Published: 4
    And a new one forthcoming in 2017.
  13. Number of houses owned: 1
    Don't need any more than that.
  14. Number of Book Trailers Posted on YouTube: 1
    It's a funny one, though I doubt it ever made anyone buy the book. You can watch it here: http://youtu.be/M-As0pRJHiM
  15. Number of Countries Visited: 14
    Mostly in Europe. Would like to travel more widely. And yes, I included Vatican City separately.
  16. Number of Fanfiction Works Written and Posted on the Internet Under A Fake Name: 12
    And I'm absolutely not going to tell you where to find them.