Thoughts on Listening to Top-40 Radio

  1. Okay, look: no one's going to stop loving you if you get locked away. But you're nuts if you think we're not going to have a few follow-up questions.
  2. I like the idea of your fight song, lady. But I do not like the fight song itself.
  3. Shut up, Ed Sheeran.
  4. I like to imagine that instead of "cheerleader," he's saying "Oh, I think that I've found myself a Jelly Bear." And also, Jelly Bears are some ambrosial European candy that you can't get here. So sometimes I go on eBay and think about ordering some from Japan (weird because they're made in Belgium). But the shipping costs are always prohibitive.
  5. I mean, yeah, I'm hurt, but it's not like I'll die without your love. I'm just gonna need a few stitches. Maybe a topical antibiotic.
  6. EX'S AND OH'S! I LOVE THIS SONG, AND IT VALIDATES MY HOPE THAT I'M STILL YOUNG ENOUGH AND COOL ENOUGH TO APPRECIATE POPULAR MUSIC!
  7. Fetty Wap sounds like a kind of sandwich. "Hey, if you're picking up lunch, can you get me a Fetty Wap?"
  8. Multi-minute reverie in which I live in a Taylor Swift video and am tragic and glamorous and have pretty, pretty hair.
  9. Shut up, Demi Lovato.