5 PHOTOS ON MY PHONE, CHOSEN AT RANDOM

  1. The cake my friends made me for my little "bachelorette" shindig. Once, back when I was very drunk and very single, one of these friends made a remark about my sexual history, to which I replied "Hey, I'm chaste as fuck." To be quoted on a cake means my life's work is done.
  2. My fiancé and his daughter on the dock at our new house. A little over a month ago, in a fit of optimism and perhaps stupidity, we bought a house on a bone-dry lake. And then came the rains! It is up seven feet and counting since we moved in.
  3. The "lake" when we moved in.
  4. My carefree niece and nephew on the swings.
  5. This past Christmas, when I wore a tacky t-shirt and my fiancé decided to be a 70's porn star for the night.