I met the publisher of the new gay weddings magazine. I could write some things.
  1. How to accidentally get engaged.
    There was no real proposal and there is still no ring. I am alternately totally ok and totally not ok with the lack of ring. Stacey and I were shopping in Santa Fe when I saw a cat ring in a jewelry store window. We obviously went inside. Less obviously, we found wedding bands that we both really like and then sat down over some delicious burritos and decided to get to get married.
  2. How not to announce the engagement.
    Don't say "I'm marrying these boobs!" You will repeat this story over and over while you are telling other people. It's embarrassing and everyone stares at your fiancée's boobs.
  3. How not to keep your engagement a secret.
    Get engaged to me.
  4. How to lose weight for the wedding.
    Ongoing research. So far, stomach flu is my best suggestion.
  5. How to deal with relatives that don't agree with gay marriage.
    Send your fiancée home to deal with them on her own. Be pleasantly surprised when they come around. Also, ongoing research. Not telling 95 year old tiny grandma and letting other relatives find out on Facebook have been my main courses of action thus far.
  6. Registering is the best part.
    Most stores don't care if you're gay because money makes everything better. Also, gays are known for their great taste, so it's a badge of honor if we register at their stores.