THINGS I AM NERVOUS I'LL ACCIDENTALLY SAY WHEN I'M MEETING POTENTIAL ROOMMATES TODAY

  1. I know i'm financially stable because I unknowingly paid for an Ancestry.com subscription for 7 months
  2. I'll be a great roommate because I have serious problems saying no to people when they ask for literally anything
  3. I brought you this loofah as a housewarming gift it's a trick do u think loofahs are unhygienic
  4. I see you have two dogs were you grossed out by the dog and peanut butter bit in Dumb and Dumber Too
  5. I don't respect people who post on the Internet with any trace of sincerity
  6. hahaahahah no why would you think I was my high school mascot
  7. do you think Ted Cruz is the zodiac killer