Chapter Titles for My Autobiography

  1. "Lindsey Lohan Betrayed Me"
    Inspired by my Common App college essay about Lohan dying her hair blonde and how this shattered my world
  2. "We're Called the Garden State, ya know?"
    If going to college taught me anything it's that I am subconsciously really proud to be from Jersey. This chapter will explore my internal crisis upon realizing this
  3. "It's Never Too Cold for Ice Cream"
    Basically I'll just talk about how much I love ice cream and go into my rules that I have about the proper way to eat this magnificent sweet
  4. "Where's The Laugh Track?"
    In this chapter I will discuss my love of sitcoms and my desire to live in one... the crushing news that my friends don't think I'm funny or a good storyteller will come in as well
  5. "I Hate Dancers"
    I've been dancing for years but for the most part don't like other dancers because they're usually conceited/obsessed with dance. Ironically, dancers LOVE me. They find my quirkiness and mediocre jokes hilarious. This chapter W would discuss both my hatred for the dance world and how dancers don't get that no, I'm not joking, this really is bullshit.
  6. "Oops… I'm So Sorry"
    I'm a clutz. I would tell some stories about me being clutz-y and embarrassing, one of my favorites about the time I yelled at an acquaintance who bumped into me because I thought he was friend…
  7. " *duck **DUCK ***FUCK"
    The story of my typos and refusal to proof read.