Chapter Titles for My Autobiography
- •"Lindsey Lohan Betrayed Me"Inspired by my Common App college essay about Lohan dying her hair blonde and how this shattered my world
- •"We're Called the Garden State, ya know?"If going to college taught me anything it's that I am subconsciously really proud to be from Jersey. This chapter will explore my internal crisis upon realizing this
- •"It's Never Too Cold for Ice Cream"Basically I'll just talk about how much I love ice cream and go into my rules that I have about the proper way to eat this magnificent sweet
- •"Where's The Laugh Track?"In this chapter I will discuss my love of sitcoms and my desire to live in one... the crushing news that my friends don't think I'm funny or a good storyteller will come in as well
- •"I Hate Dancers"I've been dancing for years but for the most part don't like other dancers because they're usually conceited/obsessed with dance. Ironically, dancers LOVE me. They find my quirkiness and mediocre jokes hilarious. This chapter W would discuss both my hatred for the dance world and how dancers don't get that no, I'm not joking, this really is bullshit.
- •"Oops… I'm So Sorry"I'm a clutz. I would tell some stories about me being clutz-y and embarrassing, one of my favorites about the time I yelled at an acquaintance who bumped into me because I thought he was friend…
- •" *duck **DUCK ***FUCK"The story of my typos and refusal to proof read.