REASONS TO CALL IN SICK

Thinkin bout it
  1. Wet Hot American Summer prequel was just added to Netflix
    Once you start there's no stopping
  2. It's hot
    So hot
  3. Your dad just sent you a case of red wine
    You need to at least taste test half the bottle
  4. This Ted Bundy book is like, so good
    And if you don't spend 67% of your time tweeting about Ted Bundy who will?
  5. Maybe that guy will call you
    I mean, he might
  6. You're sore from something not sure what
    Give me a minute I'm sure I could come up with it
  7. You might want to take a bath during your shift
    It's better to take a bath at home than at work
  8. The dishes
    This is at least a 3 hour job
  9. PMS
    You wouldn't want me to be rude to the customers or start crying to them about how your mom hasn't called you back, would you