Inspired by @sarahgorman. I watched the Bachelor for the very first time today (mostly cause Ben looked real cute in the commercials), so my knowledge is iffy.
  1. All of the contestants bring me gifts when we are introduced. All of the gifts turn out to be puppies with bows on them.
    Bonus rose awarded for whoever comes up with the best name for their gift puppy.
  2. My official job description is "chicken enthusiast."
    Like Tiara from last night's episode. Except I, of course, am referring to McNuggets, not live animals.
  3. Anyone who doesn't laugh when I make a joke is IMMEDIATELY eliminated.
  4. All of the men must look at the camera like Jim Halpert at least once per episode. They are judged on this.
  5. First date- Contestants bring me breakfast in bed, then leave so I can stalk them on the Internet.
  6. Second date- The guys sit patiently while I spend 2+ hours getting ready.
  7. Third date- We play Scattergories. If you beat me, you get a rose.
  8. Fourth date- Each contestant presents me with his favorite movie on DVD. We watch it and I sleep on his bed. Non-comfy bed owners are eliminated. Anyone who brings "Top Gun" is eliminated.
  9. Fifth date- The guys take a lot of candid pictures of me, and I choose the best one to post on Instagram. Unflattering angles = eliminated.
  10. Hometown visits- I look through all their high school yearbooks.
  11. Finale- The finalists spend the day with me at Walt Disney World. They must feign being impressed by the way I have the entire Carousel of Progress script memorized, or risk being eliminated.
    If any of the guys suggest (on his own) that we ride the People Mover, he is automatically declared the winner.