THINGS I CANT TELL YOU AS A RETAIL EMPLOYEE

Ive worked in Retail my entire adult life. Enjoy this list of things Ive wanted to, but couldn't, say from JUST TODAY.
  1. To everyone that asked me to waive shipping.
    Fuck off. Do you know what it costs to haul things across the country? Don't complain when the prices go up to compensate your naive ass.
  2. To everyone that asked for a better discount.
    Are you fucking kidding me? Hi, LUXURY retailer here. You want my cool stuff? Pay for it.
  3. To the guy that asked me to hold the pricing on something he doesn't want to buy.
    I literally dont even understand this.
  4. To the woman that emailed me at midnight and called at 10a upset I didn't respond.
    Have you heard of personal space?
  5. To everyone who complains my Café does not take reservations and regularly has over an hour wait.
    Im not sorry. You're the one who wants to eat at the same restaurant as the rest of the city. But insider tip: Want a table fast? Purchase something! And a glass of wine does not count.
  6. To the woman complaining about the fact that it cost 25$ to send your 200$ pajamas.
    I hate you. And similarly UPS. I dont make the rates lady, they do. Why dont you call our dear postal service and ask them?! PS. 200$ PAJAMAS and you cant spare a few bucks to ship it?
  7. To the woman that automatically thought that screaming at me was going to make me give her money back.
    TIP. Do you need something from someone? Did your parents teach you manners, respect, and decency is how to get what you want? Apparently not.