THINGS MY DAD SAID WHILE VISITING HIM
- •(Re: my post pardam baby weight) "You look...better." (Tone: half-hearted)
- •We saw The Martian and I'm telling you people don't need to go to Mars. YOU'VE BEEN THERE IF YOU SAW THE MARTIAN!"
- •That lady looks like a melted rubber candle. Her features are just sliding all over her face at random!
- •I feel like the bride wants me to give an impromptu toast I just don't know what I should say .... (SHE DIDN'T WANT THIS!!!)
- •(Re: my 5 month old baby) He doesn't like when you drag him around like a rag doll.