SURVIVING A 4 DAY BOAT RIDE IN 15 FOOT SEAS WITH NO CELL SERVICE

Guys. I'm like really skinny now.
  1. Never eat.
    Don't even think about it.
  2. Spend 50% of your time lying in the fetal position praying to XEANAU to rescue you.
    25% driving the boat with your head out the window so you don't puke. The other 25% attempting sleep.
  3. Sip water and nibble the corners of saltines
    Lifesaver
  4. Listen to 4 days worth of podcasts archived on your phone.
    Listen to here's the thing with Alec Baldwin so many times you can repeat the square space ad by heart.
  5. When arriving on land kiss it.
    Kiss it real good.