THE PRIMARY THEME OF MY LIFE: BEING IMPROPERLY DRESSED

  1. Just now wearing only my bikini and a tiny crop top I ran to our neighbors house to borrow a watermelon knife to find 10+ orthodox Russian women dressed from neck to toes shopping at their garage sale
  2. Which reminded me of when....
  3. I was in Istanbul and it was 100 degrees outside and I was wearing tiny shorts and a crop top and got lost and ended up outside a mosque getting directions from women in burqas and profusely apologizing for being a heathen
  4. But it doesn't stop there
  5. On my friends wedding day I spilt champagne all over my getting ready robe while getting my hair done and a groomsmen lent me his button up which was white and the bride (my friend) almost killed me because I "was also in white" for 20 minutes
  6. In high school I was at this youth court conference full of lovely nerds over Halloween and wore a little black dress and bunny ears to the Halloween party. everyone else was in jeans and tees and playing that board game that Ben from P&R loves
    I still do not know the name of this game.
  7. Wore heels to my junior prom in a blizzard and my date had to fireman carry me everywhere
  8. Wore the wrong color on class color day because I got confused and everyone thought I was graduating early
  9. Wore the same dog sweater as my best friend in 1st grade for picture day and she never spoke to me again.
  10. I'm sure there's 1,000 other times I'm forgetting