THEORIES

  1. Jo Ann's & Michael feud is real.
    They couldn't decide whose idea it was initially to open up a craft store and therefore couldn't agree on the name. Divorced. Opened competing craft stores.
  2. DJ Khaled's "They"
    It's him. Everyone too busy watching his snaps he's keeping everyone from doing their thing.
  3. The way my Professor would give out extra credit.
    Mind you he'd only give out credit to ~girls~. [DISCLAIMER I AM ASHAMED OF THIS ONE] He has pics of all the girls on a PowerPoint slide show and whomever made him cum he'd give them extra credit the next day. [i know I'm Terrile]
  4. Lake Lanier is haunted
    Self-explanatory you will never catch my fake ass in or around that man-made hell hole.
  5. McDaniel Farm Park/Shrek Theory
    This one's a stretch but bare with me. So, this park was once a farm owned by the McDaniel family, hence the name. His last son passed away in 1999, and Shrek came out in 2001. There's an area known for its swamp trees (HELLLLLLO, SHREKS SWAMP) and the outhouse where Shrek wipes his ass with the fairy tale in the beginning when all star plays (UM HELLO). Anyways, McDaniel Farm park was the inspiration for the greatest movie ever created.
  6. Katie Ledecky
    No theory, I just don't trust her and her 19 year-old lying ass.
  7. Frank Ocean
    Honestly, Boys Don't Cry is never going to drop. Theory: Frank Ocean retired from music when he realized BDC would never meet the standards of his expectant fans after channel orange. Instead, Frank Ocean spends his days watching adult swim videos, smoking weed, contemplating what would happen if the earth stopped spinning, and also figuring out new ways to hype up his fans with an album he's never going to drop.