I plead the fifth.
  1. Your Long Term, Long Distance Boyfriend
    You were probably too young to start dating him in high school, but hey, the heart wants what it wants. For your first two years of college, you'll make it work. And then you'll turn 20, have a mental breakdown, and break up with him over the phone at a calendar day halfway between Valentine's Day and his 26th birthday.
  2. The Drummer with a Tramp Stamp
    It will, to date, be the best sex you've ever had. And as much of an asshole as he turned out to be, he's low-key always on the table.
  3. The Guy Whose Name You Learned Less Than 20 Minutes Before He Came Upstairs
    He'll leave immediately after and then not text you. The ideal one night stand.
  4. The Really Bad Sex Guy
    It will be so awful and then he will not leave. He will then text you daily for almost six months.
  5. One of Your Best Friends
    On your 21st birthday, after you fall down some stairs and get kicked out of your own party. You'll barely remember it but have zero regrets.
  6. The Guy Who Didn't Deserve To Sleep With You
    You should have left this boy in high school, but you didn't. You'll sleep with him to try and make yourself feel better and it won't work.
  7. The Guy Who's 10 Years Older Than You
    It will be completely unplanned and kind of hysterical. You'll buy him a bagel in the morning.
  8. The Guy You Actually Want To Have a Relationship With
    That guy that you've totally had a crush on since the day you met will come back into town and you'll have a few too many whiskey shots at that shitty bar downtown. The sex will be great, and you'll spend the next nine months engaging in sporadic, flirty texts and occasional hook ups when you're in the same city. You'll fall for him, but the two of you will end up just being friends. He's one of the best guys you'll ever know.
  9. The Guy From Your Class You've Had Aggressive Sexual Tension With For Years
    Because why the hell not?