POP MUSICIANS CAST AS CHARACTERS FROM THE BIBLE
Apologizing in advance for any blasphemy this list might contain.
- •Justin Bieber: the prodigal sonStarted off a sweetheart, went haywire for a little bit, but came back and is loved by all again.
- •Adele: King DavidDavid killed Goliath at a young age, just like Adele killed it with her 19 album. He was just a little nobody, until suddenly he became Israel's favorite king, sort of how everyone jumped on the "Hello" bandwagon. He was also a renown songwriter, much like Adele.
- •Miley Cyrus: AbelAbel had everything going for him, but it turns out he was living a double life, and not exactly getting the best of both worlds. He murdered Cain, just like Miley murdered her career.
- •Britney Spears: SamsonSamson was strong, almost as strong as early 2000s Britney's musical potential. But then 2007 hit, Britney cut her hair, and her career toxically lost its strength. Sound familiar?
- •Taylor Swift: EstherTaylor, queen of pop-country, is basically a 21st century version of Esther, queen of Persia. Both are kinda whiny (disclaimer: I'm only inferring that Esther was whiny based on the Veggie Tales version) but are ultimately loved by their followers.
- •Lady Gaga: John the BaptistSorry, but both just kinda weird.
- •Drake: JobThe whole book of Job is basically him whining, much like every Drake song. Granted, Job was a faithful servant of God that was unwarrantedly handed over to Satan for ruthless tribulation, and Drake is just an overprivileged, self pitying Canadian.
- •Beyoncé: AbrahamBeyoncé has made a nation of followers, much like father Abraham's many sons. Her baby is also mega famous, much like Issac ended up being. Jay-Z is cool too, but he sort of takes back stage to the queen bee, kinda like Sarah did to the father of Israel.