POP MUSICIANS CAST AS CHARACTERS FROM THE BIBLE

Apologizing in advance for any blasphemy this list might contain.
  1. Justin Bieber: the prodigal son
    Started off a sweetheart, went haywire for a little bit, but came back and is loved by all again.
  2. Adele: King David
    David killed Goliath at a young age, just like Adele killed it with her 19 album. He was just a little nobody, until suddenly he became Israel's favorite king, sort of how everyone jumped on the "Hello" bandwagon. He was also a renown songwriter, much like Adele.
  3. Miley Cyrus: Abel
    Abel had everything going for him, but it turns out he was living a double life, and not exactly getting the best of both worlds. He murdered Cain, just like Miley murdered her career.
  4. Britney Spears: Samson
    Samson was strong, almost as strong as early 2000s Britney's musical potential. But then 2007 hit, Britney cut her hair, and her career toxically lost its strength. Sound familiar?
  5. Taylor Swift: Esther
    Taylor, queen of pop-country, is basically a 21st century version of Esther, queen of Persia. Both are kinda whiny (disclaimer: I'm only inferring that Esther was whiny based on the Veggie Tales version) but are ultimately loved by their followers.
  6. Lady Gaga: John the Baptist
    Sorry, but both just kinda weird.
  7. Drake: Job
    The whole book of Job is basically him whining, much like every Drake song. Granted, Job was a faithful servant of God that was unwarrantedly handed over to Satan for ruthless tribulation, and Drake is just an overprivileged, self pitying Canadian.
  8. Beyoncé: Abraham
    Beyoncé has made a nation of followers, much like father Abraham's many sons. Her baby is also mega famous, much like Issac ended up being. Jay-Z is cool too, but he sort of takes back stage to the queen bee, kinda like Sarah did to the father of Israel.