Things to Do When You're Bored but Have Deleted All Dating Apps

  1. Sing loudly in hopes that a dreamy neighbor will think it's a scream and come save you.
  2. Watch a hot man from a fav tv show or movie and pretend it's real.
  3. Attempt to masturbate without porn
  4. Actually masturbate with porn
  5. Scream into your pillow
  6. Pray that gawd will end your misery
  7. Try screaming again- "Just one nice guy plz exist in the real world!!!"
  8. Consider moving to London because obviously all men there are attractive and Mr. Darcy
  9. Look up flights to London
  10. Cry again
  11. Fall asleep in a puddle of your own sweat and tears