Ways in Which I Plan on Incorporating My Recent Trip to LA Into My Brooklyn Life

  1. Drinking California Chardonnays, preferably outside, preferably surrounded by succulents, preferably before 1pm.
  2. Drinking expensive juices (i.e. coconut/kale/hemp or collard greens/lemon peel), most likely to offset aforementioned day-drinking of California Chardonnays.
  3. Wearing lots of bracelets on the same wrist.
  4. Talking about nothing else but L.A., all the time (i.e. "When I was in L.A..." or "That's so L.A.").
  5. Pronouncing Spanish words and names incorrectly.
  6. Thinking everything is an earthquake/always worrying that an earthquake is about to happen.
  7. Talking about traffic a lot.
  8. Saying that everything will take 30-40 minutes to get to, pending traffic (see above).