THINGS I HAVE ORDERED OFF THE INTERNET WHILST BLACKOUT AND FORGOTTEN UNTIL THE PACKAGE ARRIVED

i used to pride myself on being wise with money as well as always having full recollection of the night before no matter how blasted i got. people change.
  1. novelty bacon jam from amazon.com 0/5
    omg literally the most grotesque thing i have ever smelled/tasted/been in the same room as and once i was in the same room as a rotting corpse so there ya go. (tru story!)
  2. $60 worth of dunkaroos from Canada 3/5
    did not taste as good as I remember them tasting but they did make for good conversation starters which i deff used once to bring a boy home. I told everyone I only spent $30 but i lied.
  3. rose flavored turkish delights 5/5
    these were dank. honestly solid move, wasted ceci, would deff order again
  4. tube of marzipan 4/5
    i ate a little and it was delicious. i gave this a 4 out of 5 bc owning marzipan made me feel like i was gonna do some primo fancy baking shit with it but i didnt so i subtracted a point for false expectations (prob my fault tho)
  5. an audiobook of the biography of a british comedian written by him and his father 4/5
    honestly i'm rolling with it and now my mom wants us to listen to it on our six hour roadtrip to san francisco. @jackwhitehall you better be fucking funny ! !!
  6. a $41 groupon for a colon hydrotherapy treatment 1/5
    LIKE COME ON NOW this is the purchase that inspired me to make this list because in every other case, i can vaguely remember doing it but in this case there's NOTHING. ZERO RECOLLECTION. worst part is i dont think i'll even have time to go get it done bc it expires soon. i didnt know a missed opportunity at colon hydrotherapy could make me feel this disappointed :/