THINGS I'LL DO WHEN I BECOME A BILLIONAIRE

  1. Buy a limited first edition 1997 princess diana beanie baby for $109,000 then set it on fire and watch it burn
  2. Send a poop-filled Fabergé egg to my high school principal
  3. Tbh probably taste human flesh expertly prepared by the black market top chefs (Barefoot Contessa, i'm looking at you)
  4. Invite Kim and Kanye out to dinner and stand them up
  5. Pay people to tell me their darkest secrets
  6. Do a real life Hunger Games but with enemies from my past and celebs i hate
  7. Get like..... a really good psychiatrist
  8. Wear flip flops to the Met Gala and tell Anna Wintour to eat my cornhole
  9. Buy the lock of Napoleon Bonaparte's hair that i saw in a museum in Quebec when i was 14 and have it sewn onto me to resemble a tail
  10. Literally buy my mom and grandma everything in the world. Send my uncle a massive bag of coal.
  11. Weasel my way into Bieber's posse then when I have him to myself, cut off all his white dreads and whisper "History will forget you" into his ear
  12. TO BE CONTINUED !!