How To Cope as a Single, Working Mom

Hope. I provide you with hope. It's what I do, people.
  1. Red Wine
    If you do not drink on occasion, you're doing something else to keep from snapping, and it's probably not as healthy as red wine. 3 glasses of red wine in rapid succession is equivalent to a Reiki balancing, mediocre sex, or a week of being at home alone.
  2. Take Walks
    Benefits include: listening to tunes with your ear buds in, fresh air, the only alone time you ever get, touching trees to commune with their life force, showing your neighbors you're strong enough to cry not in private.
  3. Have Veg Days
    On your days off from work, veg. Lay. DO NOT MOVE. You are not above the laws of nature. And yet a normal human cannot work full time and raise kids without having a psychotic break. Use your days off for reset and unleash holy wrath on anyone who asks you to lift a godamn finger.
  4. Escape Mentally
    ... never mind. I've got nothing. Scratch this one out.
  5. Tax Refund
    Use this windfall of cash to... never mind. You owe people money. Scratch this out.
  6. Read tweets @realDonaldTrump
    Swear to god, your problems will seem infinitesimal if you do.