1. You're female and have wrinkles and grey hair.
  2. You're female and you work in a diner.
  3. You're having sex with me
  4. You're one of my old grade school teachers.
  5. You're my spouse.
  6. You are rescuing me from several cold days and nights of being stranded on a snowy mountain with no food or shelter.
  7. You're my mom.
  8. You're a drag queen.