ADHD, TO ME (AND OTHERS)

Y'all heard of this shit? If you have, it probably concerned a young, white boy who was the shittiest young, white boy you've ever met. He could not sit still and was crazy annoying. I am (not yet a) woman, and I have ADHD, it is not really like that, and it is both my greatest weakness and strength.
  1. Me & ADHD
    People with ADHD are hypersensitive, easily distracted, inconceivably anxious, and constantly bored. But, how could these garbage qualities accentuate such a seemingly DOPE girl like @celeste "dope" yim?!!!! Well, reader, ADHD can also cause people to be enthusiastic, incredibly idealistic, thoughtful and hard-working.
  2. "H" stands for hyperactivity. For women, this hyperactivity is often mental. Not physical, the way it is for most men.
    This is a lesser known fact, causing many women to be diagnosed well into their adult lives. I am really lucky to have found out as a young teen, wondering why school and relationships and thoughts and all things were so damn hard. It was partly because I was a teen. It was also because I have ADHD.
  3. My senses are heightened.
    Girls with ADHD often feel things to a heightened degree. I read a scholarly journal once whose studies even concluded that colours and sounds were perceived as brighter and louder by girls with ADHD.
  4. And, so, I am immensely affected by all things.
    The drawback of this is that I can overreact to things a lot. Insignificant interactions can be mortifying, snide remarks can feel cruel, biting my tongue can be excruciating, and passion can turn into anger very quickly.
  5. BUT, I am fascinated by so many things.
    The previous bullet being said, I am often in awe of and hugely endeared to things that other people miss. Music reverberates boldly, words are meaningful, blankets are so soft, and colours are fierce.
  6. I worry constantly.
    Hypersensitivity is something that comes with the intensity of all my senses. Feeling and hearing and seeing things to a greater extent can make the world feel more overwhelming than it already is. I often think about every conversation I have, and analyze every word.
  7. BUT, this can make me an appreciative person and friend (AND AN AWARD-WINNING LOVER).
    Sensitive people are good at understanding others. We understand depths of emotions, that others might overlook. We feel equipped to fight battles for friends who feel too weak to do so. We carry and cry for the sadnesses that burden them. We are hilarious. This one just might be me????? I??? Am so???? HILARIOUS??????? (Just got off topic in a list about ADHD.)
  8. I am always bored.
    Few things can entertain me deeply or long enough 😏 to keep my focus for the extent of its occurrence.
  9. Because I have never had a single thought at a time.
    Ideas stream through my mind constantly and on numerous degrees. Sitting in class, I'll often be listening to the prof, thinking of a grocery list, and worrying about something I said to someone all at once. This is difficult when I want to sleep. Or when I just want to chill and have, I don't know, ONE thought at a time?
  10. BUT, I can have good, sometimes great, often fine, ideas.
    An ADHD mind that has nowhere to sit and everywhere to jump to is one that tends to be quick and creative. If you need an essay topic, a name for your improv troupe or a 💯 Instagram caption, I am here for you like List App is for Adele.
  11. It's also hard for me to listen to you talk.
    John Mayer could be telling me a story about counting cards and losing thousands of dollars, and I could STILL get distracted for a hot second. This is easily confused with not caring, or not trying. But, my brain is like a wedding slideshow of every image of my past, current, and future life- with interjections of music, or dog videos randomly included. This is as frustrating for me as it is for you.
  12. And, I shall interrupt you. Probably a lot.
    I'm really gd sorry about this one. It's a real downer of a quality. Sometimes, someone says something and it sets my mind off like fireworks, and my brain is so excited that it can't contain it inside for even one more second. The people I love are patient with me. I'm working on this.
  13. BUT, constant thoughts have helped me find comedy.
    Comedy is so visceral and constantly reevaluated. My bouncing mind automatically seeks out ways to subvert ideas. This can also make me mean sometimes, which I am regretful of. But, my mind used to instead seek out ways to be pessimistic or deplorable. So, this is better. (A sub-point INSIDE a sub-point! Great ADHD list Easter egg #2.)
  14. I am traditionally disorganized.
    My desk is a damn mess. It is a tangled quilt of books, post-its, oranges, receipts, 32 different chargers and a mug with 4-day old water in it. I have 3 different bags, and 3 different coats and I forgot at least 2 things everyday.
  15. I don't really have a good side to that one worked out yet. I lose things constantly.
  16. Has anyone seen my wallet?
    There was a lot of important stuff in there... Money.... There was money in there..........
  17. Oh, and! I make lists! I set reminders. I have to.
    Lists, and writing, and lists, and written lists help me feel less... Scattered. Seeing things in an organized way helps me filter out all the other, floating thoughts and ideas I have.
  18. 🦄
    In many ways, lists are, and have always been, a controlled chaotic way for me to feign normalcy. Mine, of course, tend to look scribbled, and confusing to others. But, to me, they make perfect sense, and, sometimes, so does ADHD.
  19. Thanks for reading this, it means a lot to me that you would take the time to what should I have for breakfast tomorrow did I lock the door I should listen to Wilco later tonight why did I say that weird thing to that boy yesterday