My 2016 So Far

This has been my year so far.
  1. When the clock struck midnight I was watching The Great British Baking Show surrounded by dogs and humidifier.
  2. Fireworks started going off. The dogs all started freaking out and shaking uncontrollably. My sister and I took them into the panic room. Imagine two women and 3 dogs in one small bathroom.
  3. I had a great night sleep but also had an elaborate and realistic dream that I uncovered and exposed a Korean child pornography ring.
  4. I woke up this morning to the smell of dog shit.
  5. This asshole had taken two big soft shits on my carpet. I cleaned it up with a toothbrush like I was in prison.
  6. I might go see Star Wars today.
  7. 2016!