Assorted Boy's Names and Likelihood of Being a Douchebag

  1. 9.
    Chris
    Salt of the earth. A good dude who will never mansplain and doesn't believe in the friend zone- not a douchebag
  2. 8.
    Benjamin
    A feminist who believes in paid maternity leave and gets along great with your mother- not a douchebag
  3. 7.
    Michael
    A little stingy but practical and texts you back right away and loves animals- not a douchebag
  4. 6.
    James
    A little conceited but razor smart and loves children, especially if he has the nickname 'Jimmy'- maybe sometimes a little bit of a douchebag
  5. 5.
    Joseph
    Prioritizes friends over family, fun to hang out with but he will blow you off for better plans, does try to make up for blowing you off- lovable douchebag
  6. 4.
    Matthew
    Will lie to cover his ass, will manipulate you to get what he wants- total douchebag
  7. 3.
    Kevin
    Huge jock, is homophobic, is voting for Donald Trump- just the worst human 95% of the time
  8. 2.
    Jake
    Posts pro-gun statuses on Facebook, doesn't believe in animal rights, doesn't text back right away- major douchebag stay FAR AWAY
  9. 1.
    Chad
    Has anyone ever met a non douchebag named Chad? Because I've yet to hear of one