How to escape a blender when you're the size of a pencil, by the boys in the Boston area on Bumble

So you know how on bumble ladies have to chat first? I've struggled with opening lines forever but this one is a real gem.
  1. Josh, who is trying too hard
  2. Maxwell, who doesn't have an imagination regarding life as a pencil
  3. Mike, who refuses to role play with me
  4. Damon who refused to play along
  5. Kevin, who left me without words
  6. Matt, who required clarification as to what a pencil was
  7. Jake, who had a solid game plan
  8. Carlton who needs to calm down with the points thing
  9. And Mike.