ROLES I CAN'T WAIT TO PLAY AT A COMMUNITY THEATRE

I may not be a great ingénue, but I know that I will be a shining star of musical theatre in my mid 40s. The following things will most likely occur:
  1. Jack's mom, Into the Woods
    I volunteer for this part after my (currently imaginary) daughter gets cast as Little Red Riding Hood. Each night, audiences cackle at my "Slotted spoons don't hold much soup" line delivery. The director, Marcos, begs me to star with his wife, Antoinette, in the next show of the season as...
  2. Vera Charles, Mame
    Crowds go wild for our rendition of "Bosom Buddies". Only Roger, the local theatre critic, senses the white hot rage daggers Antoinette shoots me as I receive a three minute standing ovation after "The man in the moon is a lady".
  3. Mama Rose, Gypsy
    After postponing for six months while Antoinette and Marcos filed for divorce, I am tapped for my first starring role. Audiences expected my comedic styling a during "Have an egg roll, Mr. Goldstone", but no one anticipated the dramatic explosion that was "Rose's turn".
  4. Dolly Levi, Hello, Dolly!
    After the critical and financial success of Gypsy, Marcos and his production team reimagine Hello, Dolly! as a star vehicle for me. "Ribbons down my back" is cut so more stage time can be devoted to me. The slow build I bring to "Before the Parade Passes By" leaves the audience breathless.