Teaching is the best job.
  1. "You know on tv when white people are eating dinner and they ask if they can be excused, can I be excused from this assignment?" (Me: No) "On tv they always say yes."
  2. "My name's not Justin; it's Noodles."
  3. "Genitalia is your eye, right?"
  4. "My mom put our friend in charge of telling us about sex. Because she's seen the hunger games and was okay with it."
  5. "Go suck a hairline."