THINGS THAT HAPPENED AT WORK TODAY
I work at a nursing home, so some of these things are normal. Some are not.
- •A female US Air Force Lieutenant gave a pin and a certificate to a female resident who was a pilot during WWII. It was pretty awesome. The chaplain introduced himself to the resident, and she responded "Who the hell cares?", which was also awesome.
- •I discovered that the gross scum in the fish tank that I thought was leftover food was actually murdered fish remnants. There are two fish left now.
- •I broke up an old lady fist fight
- •A woman had a conversation with a stuffed reindeer that she thought was a dog.
- •A man yelled incoherently for 30 mins about Indonesia
- •A woman told me she always wanted to rob a house. No, she doesn't have dementia.
- •A woman tricked me into looking at her boobs."Ooooooohh I'm in pain!!!!" "Where?" "Here!" *lifts up shirt and cackles*
- •I almost lost it on a woman who kept going on and on and on about my weight.(I kept my cool though)
- •I bribed a woman with Gene Kelly
- •I taught a 90 year old woman about consent and not touching others when they say stop.It didn't work.
- •An old lady called me "Fucko", which is now my new favorite insultUsurping the title from the long-reigning champion, "Shitass", which also originated as a nursing home insult