We examine the Hollywood hot shot's Independence Day agenda.
  1. Get a bag of ice to keep things cold. He's not sure what those things are yet. But he will.
  2. Hop on the bike to go for a quick spin around the neighborhood. Gotta see what everyone's up to!
  3. Spend a half hour with a bottle of 1800...see below.
  4. Mentally prepare for "I can't believe you're the new super hero. Congrats?!"
  5. Head off to the local parade in full Red Coat garb. He'll get a rise out of the crowd - he's Paul Rudd!
  6. Realize how to utilize bag of ice. Beverages!!
  7. Pick up beverages after parade.
  8. Go home after the parade to get ready for a small get together with some friends- just close ones from like when he was growing up and stuff!
  9. Tend to the grill for a while before handing it over to the bored looking tween who's too shy to talk to the girls.
  10. Put arm around wife.
  11. Look around yard at friends and family gathered with genuine expression of happiness.
  12. Look at wife and say "I love you."
  13. Return Jason Segel's slightly humorous, slightly cynical message to the group text about America falling apart with "🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸!"
  14. Glance over the corners of the yard to make sure that kid from the grill is getting an OTPHJ.
  15. Get Amy Poehler a cab home.
  16. Fireworks ✅