Top 5 Pies Dead or Alive

Pies are fucking great, so I'll celebrate them with a short list of my favorites.
  1. Key lime
    Key lime pie finally deserves its proper shine. It's sweet, it's tangy, it's green, it's absolutely fucking delicious!
  2. Blueberry
    Because you can't coat a bowl of blueberries in sugar, load them inside a pie crust and expect it to NOT be the best thing ever.
  3. Rhubarb
    Yeah, you're reading it right...fucking rhubarb! You've probably never even tried it, you're just judging it because it looks like celery and you aren't open to trying new things. Your loss, more rhubarb pie for me.
  4. Bean
    You might not be familiar with bean pies, you should change that immediately. A sweet custard pie made from mashed beans and a mix of spices (vanilla, cinnamon, nutmeg). Usually associated with the Nation of Islam and their fundraising efforts. I will gladly be called a white devil in exchange for a slice.
  5. Apple
    Because this country was built on apple pie.