1. What is that insufferable noise?
    Usually my alarm clock. Sometimes it's my neighbor snoring or my hamster flinging his food down the attachment tunnel.
  2. Why is it so cold?
    Probably because you have flannel sheets, a quilt, and a down comforter on you? Also you have a fan blowing directly on you....
  3. How badly do I need this job?
    Pretty badly if you want to be able to eat and have a place to live.
  4. Why can't I just wear sweats??
    Because you work for a vacation company, not a gym.
  5. Where does the time go?
    It's lost in time purgatory because you keep zoning out.
  6. Ugh why is it so cold outside?!
    The sun isn't up. You really are blonde aren't you?
  7. Why are you driving so slow? There's no one in front of you!
    Probably because that's the speed limit.
  8. Ah sweet success! Got my usual space.
    Because there aren't multiple other spaces available.... It has to be that specific one for some reason.
  9. I hate elevators.
    They take forever, you're stuck in a box with people you don't know, they make me dizzy, the list goes on and on.
  10. Why is this person on the phone so grumpy?
    Because they're old, can't hear, and are impatient. Also, you're tired so you're irritable
  11. When is lunch?
    At 11. Like it is everyday. Eat your snacks.
  12. Why do people keep talking to me? I'm clearly reading...stop that.
    No common courtesy. Duh.
  13. Only four more hours!
    Get all the emails and memos done! Woo!
  14. Three more hours!
    Yes, waste time making lists and going on Pinterest. Your boss would be thrilled.
  15. Two more hours.
    That's one hour for emails and one for memos! Wait... Why are so many calls coming in?? Oh no.
  16. Thirty minute left!
    And you've got nothing done in the past four hours good job.
  17. Four o'clock!
    Bye Felicia!
  18. 4:30
    Why is there so much traffic? I just need to get to school...
  19. Why does my professor always look rumpled?
    It's like he rolls around in his bed and then crouches up really tightly to get everything wrinkled.
  20. His pants are awfully short.
    Preparing for that flood that will never happen, I see.
  21. Oh god. The heavy breather is staring.
    Avery your gaze, heavy breather! I have nothing to offer you. Nothing to see here.
  22. I'm gonna do my paper during this class.
    I don't pay attention anyway. And the paper IS for this class. That counts right?
  23. Yay! Time to go home!
    I'm coming for you bed.
  24. Why do I have to live on the second floor?
    Because that's what they gave you. And you wouldn't exercise otherwise so be grateful.
  25. Ah, neighbor is snoring. Must be ten...
    And it most certainly is. Right on cue, old man!
  26. Hello bed.
    You sweet, beautiful thing, you!