what a heartbreak feels like, in stages
- •like being punched in the balls, only worse
- •anger and/or self hatred and/or both
- •a very sad and unique kind of anger and hurt
- •breaking down in tears in public because of the tiniest little reminder that you didn't ever realize was a thing
- •"i'm over it"
- •breaking down again after you thought you were over it
- •doubt in everything you believed was real
- •frequently double-guessing why you're being so dramatic and letting this hurt so much
- •heaviness & confusion, while simultaneously not caring about things you used to
- •wearing a lot of baggy clothes and oversized jackets to express my new "i don't give a fuck" self
- •queasiness/mild revulsion when thinking about being romantically involved again with anyone in the future
- •Excited to lean into healing, wondering what it will look like on the other side. will I believe in the ultra-romantic, "true" love I once put all my hope in? Or is that childlike view of love gone forever? Can I get back there? Do I want to? Will it look like something completely new?
- •Fear again. What if I can't love the next person better?
- •Beginning to feel some magic creep up again when another person can get your heart to flutter.......