SELECTED CHRONOLOGY OF CHANGES IN APPEARANCE

And their legacies
  1. 8 weeks: Make a full recovery from jaundice. Orange sticks with me as my favorite color.
  2. 4 years: stung by a wasp. Allergic reaction leaves right ear bigger than left one forever.
  3. 5 years: Replace my bowl cut with the no-comb-required haircut I will have for the next 28 years and counting.
  4. 6 years: Lose a permanent tooth in a piece of toast. Story recounted in a previous list.
  5. 8 years: Long slide from tow headed to brunette begins. Eventually will have to change the hair color field on my drivers license.
  6. 10 years: Learn the hard way that sunburns can happen in December when you are playing shuffleboard in Ft Lauderdale. Still have a permanent farmers tan.
  7. 13 years: Six years of acne begins. Standard stuff. Nothing good comes out of this.
  8. 23: Start a routine doing 90 pushup/90 situp 2x per day. Body thinks lifting weights would do wonders. Mind thinks that sounds like too much trouble. Stop after a year.
  9. 25: Years of staring at computer screens finally ruins my vision. Can't figure out contacts. Get glasses. Am taken seriously in the workplace for the first time.
  10. 33 years: Forget shaving gear on trip home for holidays. Unintentionally but successfully grow a beard for the first time. Hobo chic achievement unlocked.